CLEM CORNBALLRACE CAR DRIVER[Photo]
This is Clem Cornball the latest new commer to NASCAR fresh off a victory at his home track in Hogs Holler Mississippi. He plans to try out for the time trials at Indianapolis next week end.
Clem you just popped up out of no where, why do you think you can run with the big guys in NASCAR?
"Cuzz I says so. Besides one of dem big shot officials ben datin my sister an hein says I got a chance to race."
Oh! I see. Well Clem you know those other teams have big buck operations and plenty of money. You have only won at your home track many times. How do you think you can compete with that?"
Cuzz I want to. I ben a practicing at Hogs Holler Satate Route 13. Exactly the same size as that thar Indy thang. My pa is thuh deputy thar".
I don't think it is the same thing Clem but I have to give you credit for trying. What are you driving?
"Thuh Mayah gave me two clydesdales to pull my car to thuh track."
No I meant to say what kind of car are you racing at the track?
" It is a hum dinger. I fixed it all by my self. Thuh big shot racing official thats ben datin my sister gave me all the figers to build thuh car."
Clem I can hardly wait to see this creation He. He.
"Well thar see be. Ain't she a perty one?"
Clem that is a 1949 Packard ! You can't race that as a COT at Indy.
"Cracked that is jest thuh out side. This funny lookin guy in a monkey suit gave me thuh irony particul germinator for a motor. He says it can go faster than honey attractin bees."
Well Clem I don't think you got a chance of racing that thing at indy. What about the inspection and the track officials.?
" I gets that covered. Member dat big shot track official datin my sister? His'm name is Ben sumpin Frenchy. He isn sayin I can race what evah I brung. "
Well there you have it race fans. The latest news from NASCAR. A Clem Cornball the hot shot local home boy goes big time at Indy next week. Will he make it or will he break it? Odd things have came out of NASCAR before but this has to be the grand daddy of them all.