Sunday, September 13, 2009

Who Would You Throw Under The Bus?


Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to call out the object of your ire in the sports world by throwing them under the Bus. I have a few objects of ire I'd like to throw under the Bus!

NFL

Carolina Panthers: that was PATHETIC. SEVEN turnovers, five of them by Jake Delhomme. I WANTED to believe in Delhomme, many times even sticking up for him. After today, I cannot believe in Delhomme any more. Jeff Garcia, where are you? We NEED you. Garcia's pushing 40, yet he's STILL a better QB than Delhomme. The Panthers get thrown under the Bus for their pitiful effort, and Delhomme gets thrown under for being a turnover machine.

Cincinnati Bengals: the Lions of the AFC find new and inventive ways to lose games. This week, it was the result of a tipped ball that found its way into the hands of Denver WR Brandon Stokley. All the Bungles', er, Bengals' defender had to do was BAT THE BALL OUT OF BOUNDS. Instead, he tried to bat it to himself for an interception. Only problem: Stokley was in the vicinity and got himself an early Christmas gift. Game, set, match, Broncos. Only fitting that the Broncos won their first game without Jay "I Cried My Way Out of Denver When Mike Shanahan Was Fired" Cutler. Even more apropos: Cutler threw FOUR picks against Green Bay. But I digress. The Bengals get thrown under the Bus for their inventive ways of losing.

P.S. It's bad when you're lumped in with the Cincinnati Bengals in this post.

TENNIS

American Men's tennis: for not having an American male contending for the U.S. Open title. Or at the very least, in the semifinals. All I ask for is a QUARTERFINAL appearance. Please, please, a Sweet 16 berth? NONE OF THAT! The last American man to survive was John Isner. John who? Exactly. He lasted until the third round and all its glory. After his appearance in an epic Wimbledon final, Andy Roddick looked like he was a serious contender for his second U.S. Open title (he won in 2003). He was bounced unceremoniously in the second round. Is it that the rest of the world has caught up, or do we not give a rat's @$$ about tennis like we used to? I say both. For lacking in development, the powers that be that rule the USTA get thrown under the Bus.

Serena Williams: she had a bizarre ending of her semifinal against Kim Clijsters. She was given a point penalty. On match point. At 15-30, a line judge called a foot fault on Williams' second serve. That made it 15-40, double match point. Williams began berating the line judge with a profanity-laced tirade. The chair umpire, after consultation with the line judge and tournament referee, then awarded the point to Clijsters. Game, set, and match, Clijsters. For her meltdown at match point, Williams gets thrown under the Bus.

Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!

4 comments:

  1. Yea, that Serena outburst was pretty bad.

    I got nothin else - except maybe that the "most pressure packed race of the year" was a bit of a single file, play it safe snore-fest for all but 3 drivers.

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  2. Hey Jon and Football fans!!

    I need your advice - if you had a choice between seeing the Texans, Panthers or Seahawks play AZ who would you pick?

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  3. I'll throw Michael Jordan under da bus for his bizarre ranting at his HOF induction. He showed everyone exactly how classy he is not. OJ without the murdering!

    Also, Kanye West must go under the bus for his ridiculous ridiculing of Taylor Swift at the MTV awards.

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  4. Hey Kristen, I was in and out of the kitchen preparing my mother's b-day dinner and I saw bits and pieces of the race. But from what I saw, I saw pretty much the same thing as you: a snorefest. As for football, I'd take the Cardinals vs. Seahawks.

    Gene, Jordan is two letters short of class. Just like Kanye West. Both guys need to be thrown under a fleet of buses, then the buses backed up over them, and repeat the process until their gas tanks run out.

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